You are not alone.
...and you don’t need to suffer in shame or silence for one more heartbroken moment.
Our deepest passion is to help partners who have been traumatized by their loved ones’ sexual, emotional and relational infidelity -
Behaviors that range from porn to prostitution; sexting to emotional and sexual affairs.
There is Hope For You
...and your deeply wounded relationship
Betrayal is Trauma.
Worse, it is two distinct types of trauma: Compound/Complex and Shock trauma. This means that betrayal and all the behaviors that have accompanied it over time has caused a cumulative relational trauma that has undermined your vision, understanding and belief in what it means to be coupled with your partner and insidiously eroded your sense of self-knowing. Your discovery of your partners betrayal(s) was an immediate, sudden, completely unexpected, and world-destroying impact that leveled you and any sense of anything in your world - even bringing into doubt all you've known and believed that made your world solid, reliable, secure... SAFE.
You may have sought help before now and, unless you found someone who was specifically trained in Betrayal Trauma, it may have made things worse; treating these issues from a trauma-informed perspective is precisely what our entire team is trained to do best.
Our therapists and coaches have dedicated themselves to helping individuals, and couples, who have been deeply wounded by sexual, emotional and relational infidelity. Beyond their extensive training and experience in therapy and coaching, they have spent years continually educating themselves, researching, developing new and better helping methods and applying their own recovery experiences to their practices.
As a team, all of this education and experience creates its own synergy to help you.
Relational trauma is created when repeated and intense betrayal breaks the bond between two people in a committed relationship and leads to confusion, pain, anger, humiliation and feelings of worthlessness and mistrust of others.
Over time, trauma victims adapt themselves (often unconsciously) to survive within this stressful new reality.
The trauma becomes compounded each time the betrayer actively or passively blames his partner for any aspect of this situation, such as
(a) causing the need for sexual acting out,
(b) defending the betrayer's own abusive psychological deceptions used to deny, hide or protect his secrets, and
(c) blame-shifting criticism onto his partner, in order to deflect from the shame he perpetuates with his behavior.
Because traumatized individuals are often inclined to blame themselves in the first place, this dynamic often reinforces feelings of self-loathing, embarrassment, humiliation and worthlessness - the kind that can often keep couples stuck.
In most cases, couples can’t extricate themselves from this dynamic; it requires intervention from someone else to help them break this cycle.
We’ll help you recognize moments and crossroads where you can make your needs an important priority, becoming your own
best friend, advocate and hero.
...and we’ll work with you to strategize ways you can care for yourself without sacrificing your loved ones, and to internalize a truth that we hold on your behalf: that loving your family begins and ends with self-love for YOU.
Ignite your sense of Self
and Learn to move to your own rhythm again