RELATIONSHIP RECOVERY
RELATIONSHIP RECOVERY
RELATIONSHIP RECOVERY
Relationship Recovery
Frequently Asked Questions
Couples
"Can Our Relationship be saved?
YES!!!
It will take work, though.
The truth is, after such a devastating relational rupture, both partners must get help: EDIT TO MAKE COUPLE THE PRIMARY FOCUS
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Those with Problematic Intimacy & Sexual Issues need help to not only stop their acting-out behaviors but well beyond that... they need help to understand and change the drivetrain that controls their behaviors. It is not enough to simply stop and replace them with healthy behaviors - the origins of the issues must be addressed as they drive the Intimacy Avoidance that gives birth to the acting-out behaviors​
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Betrayed Partners need support because they have just suffered an incredibly traumatic event (discovery) and the likelihood is that, for a long time; they have been gaslighted, their perception of reality brought into question, and have long suffered, usually not obvious (nor, typically, conscious) emotional abuse that ultimately means that they not only suffer Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (that research shows is similar to that experienced by a combat soldier or first responder), but it has been additive since their partner started acting out and intimacy (connection) began to diminish. This results in Complex Post-Traumatic Disorder (C-PTSD). As a partner, you deserve support and help, especially since there was absolutely no way you could have avoided this and in no way was it your fault.
"This is a client or Staff or Referring Professional quote that is placed here to be read by visitors to this site"
- Fran M
Betrayed Partners
Why Am I not Enough?
You ARE!!!
...and you always have been.
Statements from your spouse that sound like,
"If you had just...,"
"If you were only (thinner/more fun/sexually adventurous/wanted sex more...),"
"I have to get my "needs" met,"
"We just don't work that way anymore,"
"I have a much stronger sex drive than you do,"
are GASLIGHTING
Period.
You are enough.
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For somebody in solid Relational Recovery, you are much more than "enough"
"This is a client or Staff or Referring Professional quote that is placed here to be read by visitors to this site"
- Fran M
Those with Problematic Intimacy & Sexual Issues
What is Cheating, Really?​
"Cheating" encompasses
so much more than sex
outside of the relationship...
At its core, whether sexual or emotional or both, cheating is a violation of a sacred trust that has been mutually agreed to between you and your partner when you made a commitment to each other.
For example: If you are keeping Secrets, lying about anything (including financial issues), or sharing emotional or sexual intimacy with another Person, then you are in violation of the covenant of a relationship to which each of you committed.
As an easy measure:
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If your spouse were standing next to you and can't jump up and down yelling "You Go!!!!" when you're doing something, then it's probably a bad idea at the very least and may well be a violation of Trust.